LADIES ONLY!

I title this "Ladies Only" as if any guy actually reads my blogs...
but really I'm meaning "LADIES COME TOGETHER!"

I've always been someone who writes. I started doing it when I was 6 years old when I would have a crush on a boy...almost every entry, I had a new crush! hehe :)

In high school I started writing to vent. To let things out that I couldn't say out loud and to express myself that I didn't feel comfortable saying to anyone. It became my therapy and as pathetic as it may sound, a best friend. You don't have to censor what you say when you write. You can write about anyone and everyone, all your emotions and secrets. And while developing as a teen, I sure had a lot of emotions.

Gosh all the entries about how much I "hated" my parents and how they were out to make my life hell! How could they be so horrible to me!?

You don't have to censor what you say when you write. You can write about anyone and everyone, all your emotions and secrets.

NOT SO MUCH.

When I was 15 and my parents were suspicious of me sexin, druggin, and boozin it up...they did a search. A good search...where they found my journal. This is one of the ways my mother and I are the same- too curious/concerned not to invade into someone's privacy.

FOR THE RECORD, I WOULD NEVER READ ANYONE'S PERSONAL DIARY OR INFORMATION...I learned how hurtful that can be (I'm like my mother because of the curious part and the invade into someone's business a.k.a. asking too many questions!)

Maybe when I'm a mother to a daughter like myself, I will understand??
Right now, not so much.

They learned everything there was to learn about their 15 year old daughter. And I do mean everything. Things you DO NOT want your psychologist parents to learn about their outgoing, partying teenage daughter who is attempting to win their trust over so getting her license by her 16th bday is somewhat of a possibility. (didn't happen b-t-dub!)

The thing is though, you shouldn't have to censor your personal journal. You SHOULD be able to write what you want, when you want! This was my therapy and getaway from reality so I could truly, 100% be myself. I know I hurt my parents with some of the things that I had written, but they were never to see any of those words!

Also for the record, I was not sexin or druggin at 15...maybe a little boozin but nothing too crazy!! :)

I started this blog to talk about how now the only time I end up writing is to vent about how much I hate my monthly emotional breakdown, bitch fest and cramping!

It's true. The only time I pick up a pen is to complain about Joseph or work or something that isn't even worth complaining about...it coincidentally lands all on the same time each month.

I used to write about beautiful things. I used to write and write and write about how wonderful Joseph was and how I was quickly falling in love with him. I used to write songs and poems. How much I care for my family and how great the weather is! I used to write practically everyday! And it felt great!

Looks like I need to make more of an effort to journal on a more frequent basis. Two years ago that was one of my New Year's resolutions- write in journal everyday...even if there isn't much to write about.

Therapy is therapy. Usually different people have different types, and writing is mine. Whether I'm good at it or not. (P.S.-I'm writing about this right now for a reason ((time of month))..eek...and I already feel better!) Even if I don't have any huge significance to write, I can at least talk about how great life is or how wonderful he is to me.

Or maybe write a prayer like I used to in my prayer journal growing up. It's uplifting and helpful in so many ways.

I started writing tonight to complain about how being a girl can be so frustrating and how much I hate being mad or upset with Joseph for no good reason. A friend of mine once blogged about a term she coined "ITA" the Intention To Argue and I was going to fuel off that and talk about how often I tend to ITA during this time of the month. That's why I titled this "Ladies Only." I wanted some support. But I have seemed to find it just by writing and expressing some emotion...even if it wasn't about what I had intended to write about.

Doesn't seem as if this blog is really about that though...maybe I need to change the title. Shows you what an ADD person I am and how much I can get off track!

Writing works for me. Maybe you should try it to!? Even if it's just about something silly or if you're sad about something. I've found so many solutions in my problems from just writing stuff out. Stress has gotten released too many times to count by just writing out how much I hate something (or the actions of someone)...give it a try!

Once I started an entry saying "Gosh I'm so upset! All I want right now is a cigarette, or a drink...or maybe I should smoke some pot!" and I ended the entry with "I feel soo much better! No need for any intoxicating substance, I've got a pen and paper that'll do just fine!"